If you’re like I am, you’ve spent a lot of your life in pursuit of this elusive state of being.
Feeling good about yourself.
Your pursuit has led you far and wide. You’ve read every self-help book going. You’ve owned the perfect home. You’ve done therapy. You’ve gone to meditation retreats. You’ve had your astrological chart done. You’ve hired a personal trainer. You’ve talked to mediums.
You name it, you’ve done it.
And, after all that, you still feel less than great about yourself. Any feel-good moments you encountered along the way were pretty fleeting.
This leaves you feeling deflated, even depressed. You’ve tried everything and nothing works.
Is This It?
No! Feeling good about yourself is just around the corner.
You were on the right track. The answers you were seeking do lie within some of what you tried. But, here’s the thing.
Merely experiencing these things doesn’t create lasting change.
What creates lasting change is action. A daily practice that incorporates all of the life truths you’ve learned.
You need to create new habits that are based on these life truths.
Here are six life truth habits that will help you feel good about yourself if you practice them daily.
- Get clear on your values and live your life according to them. If you have some firm guiding principles – and they’re essential if you’re to feel truly whole – they must operate in ALL aspects of your life. e.g. One of the things that drove me out of the corporate world was being told to treat people in ways that went completely against my values of kindness and compassion. e.g. When I’m shopping for anything, I find out everything I can before buying it so I know that the item has been ethically manufactured, has a minimal environmental footprint, etc.
- Be compassionate towards yourself and others. To me, being compassionate means being kind, understanding and forgiving. In a world that is becoming increasingly hard and critical, there is a real need for kindness, understanding and forgiveness. You cannot be truly compassionate to others if you’re not compassionate to yourself first. So give yourself a break – treat yourself with kindness, understanding and forgiveness. And then pass it on.
- Stop judging yourself and others. When you judge yourself or someone else, you are engaging in toxic behaviour. It’s damaging and exhausting. As a recovering judger myself, I understand how difficult it is to break this habit. What works for me – and has made my life so much more joyful – is to try to understand any difference I encounter and even celebrate it. e.g. When I see a garden full of gnomes, I note that, whilst they’re not my thing, it’s wonderful how much pleasure the owners must get from them.
- Question everything and stop making assumptions. It’s human nature to fill any void with something, and usually the first something that comes to mind is an assumption. Assumptions are ALWAYS wrong, and are at the root of most disagreement and conflict. If something isn’t clear, ask questions instead filling the void with assumptions. Ask as many questions as you need to get clarity, and don’t worry about looking stupid. Making assumptions is the best way I know to look stupid, as it turns you into a sheep – someone who unquestioningly follows the views, gossip or doctrines of others.
- Express gratitude freely and daily. Even at your lowest, when it feels like everything in your life is going wrong, there are things you should be grateful for. For me, it’s the amazing people in my life, the healthy food I’m able to eat, that I have a roof over my head, that I’m able to spend time in nature. Expressing gratitude helps balance you out and brings you away from the precipice. And gratitude begets gratitude – the more you’re grateful for, the more you’ll have to be grateful about.
- Ask for and give help. If you’re the sort of person who finds it easy to help others, you’re probably also someone who finds it hard to accept help from others. You may view the need for help as a weakness, a sign that you’re not capable. It’s not. It’s actually a sign of generosity – that you’re willing to give others that same wonderful feeling you get from helping.
When you start to create daily habits that reflect how you want to live, you’ll start to feel better about yourself. You are in control of how you feel, so take control and design a life that feels good.