So why does it feel like you don’t?
You’re successful. You have the job you worked hard for, the family you always wanted, the life you always wanted. You’re well liked, well respected and have a large circle of friends.
You’re living the dream.
So why doesn’t it feel like that?
You have everything you ever wanted, so you should feel great. And you did, for a while after you succeeded at each goal. But right now you don’t, and the inner critics inside your head are having a field day.
“So many people in the world never had the advantages you have. The least you can do is be grateful!”
“What makes you think you’re so special that you deserve more?”
“Why can’t you just be happy?”
“What’s wrong with you? You have everything you ever wanted and now it’s not enough??!!”
“Everyone else seems happy with what they have, there must be something wrong with you.”
You try to push your feelings away and focus on what you have. You have so much! You know this, you KNOW you have so much. But still, there’s a little voice somewhere inside, a voice that feels less clarity about what you’re doing with your life, a voice that wonders “Is this it?”. It all makes you feel so uncomfortable, ashamed even.
I know that voice intimately, because it lived in me for years. I first felt it at 25, when everything was going well for me. I’d been working for a few years and was a rising star. I had a lot of friends. But I didn’t feel very alive and was less than happy. I hated feeling like this so much that it propelled me into action – I just had to figure out what was so wrong with my life that I couldn’t be happy with what I had. I was totally on my own – it was pre internet and a time when no one talked about such things. So the action I took ended up involving A LOT of change – my moving home, job and country repeatedly – as that was the only way I knew to shake things up and get to the bottom of my discomfort. That voice came and went over the years, usually returning after a success glow had worn off. Every time it came back, I dove back inside, and changed more about my life. This went on for 30 years, until I knew why I hadn’t felt fully alive or happy or self-fulfilled.
To save you 30 years of deep soul-searching, here’s why!
Despite having all the success and accomplishments you could ever want, you will never feel fully alive until you do one thing. Find what lights you up. Without knowing this, you won’t know your life’s purpose. And without living your life’s purpose, you won’t have lasting self-fulfilment or happiness.
Success is getting what you want. It gives you fleeting happiness, because after you’ve achieved it, you start aiming for the next success, the next goal.
Self-fulfilment is getting what you need. It gives you lasting happiness, which leads to lasting success.
You have everything you want. It’s time to find what you need.