And become healthier & happier
From a very young age, I was able to sense when something wasn’t right. I didn’t necessarily know WHAT wasn’t right, just that something wasn’t right. This particular skill wasn’t valued by those around me, so I learned to override this sense as soon as it arose. After a while, I found I was able to override pretty much anything unpleasant/troubling that arose. I became very responsible, very resilient and very strong.
Because of this aura I gave off, I attracted a lot of people who were looking to offload their unpleasant/troubling things onto someone else. And I willingly obliged – after all, there was nothing I couldn’t deal with, was there? This continued for years and years. Until, one day, I got sick. I was 38 and had developed an auto-immune disease. A disease that causes your OWN body to attack itself.
The toxic I had invited into my life had done a lot of damage.
It was as if my body said to me:
“OK, dear girl, despite my sending you warnings about this, you’ve been letting everyone and everything attack you for years. I now realize that the ONLY way to get your attention is for me to attack myself, causing you such disruption that you start to wake up.”
I did start to wake up.
I took a long, hard look at how I’d been living and made some important changes, mostly around what I was putting into my body. I created new behaviours. I removed all prepared foods from my diet and made everything myself. It was a powerful expression of self-love (I am worth taking the time and care to do this) and made sure I wasn’t eating toxic things like sugar, food preservatives, food emulsifiers and the endless chemicals found in prepared foods. And I started paying more attention to my work environments.
It wasn’t enough. I continued to get sick. The toxic still had a hold on my life.
After a while, I figured out the next step. Although I’d removed the toxic from I was ingesting orally, I hadn’t yet removed it from I was absorbing externally. From people. That took longer, because I wanted to believe that either I was impervious to their toxicity, or I could help them become less toxic. Or both.
I was wrong.
Firstly, toxic energy continues to permeate our energy until we’ve done so much work on ourselves that we radiate pure love. And I certainly wasn’t in that place yet. Secondly, it’s not my responsibility to help someone else become more or less anything. I’m responsible for myself. You are responsible for yourself. Trying to ‘fix’ others is disrespectful… and futile.
These days, I’m getting much better at keeping the toxic at arms’ length.
The minute I feel uncomfortable, I stop what I’m doing and leave, if necessary and possible.
By staying tuned in to how my body reacts to people, situations and food, I’m able to recognize this moment. Here’s what helps me:
- Meditating daily to stay tuned into my body. This gets me out of my head and into my body so I’m able to tune in.
- Getting very clear on my non-negotiable values and living according to these, WITHOUT exception. This often means saying no to things I used to say yes to, often out of curiosity e.g. hanging out with people whose values are diametrically opposed to mine.
- Acting in ways that keep me fit and healthy. Trying to get enough sleep, minimizing stress, exercising daily, putting the best possible food into my body. This keeps my operating system in top form!
By removing the toxic from my life, I act in my own best interests, and am healthier, happier and stronger. And in a much better position to be of service to others, if I am called on.
That’s what life’s all about.